January 3. 2009

Today is my niece Whitney's 15th birthday. She lives in Georgia with her mom. I haven't seen her or heard from her since she was 2. Then out of the blue she called my cell phone tonight. It was great catching up with her. She gave me her myspace address so that we can keep in touch. I also wished her a happy birthday. She was surprised that I remembered because she didn't remember us. According to her dad, my brother-in-law, Whitney's mom never told her about any of us. Oh well. It's all okay now. As far as my quitting smoking goes I have had a relapse and had 10 cigarettes today. Which means I'll have to try harder tomorrow. It'll be okay. Thanks again for listening.

New year resolution 2009

Okay it's new years day. Our new years resolution is to quit smoking. Desi wants to quit cold turkey. I get migraine headaches so I want to gradually quit. I am going to try cutting down to 5 a day for this week. Then next week go to 4 and so on. Hopefully it will give my body enough time to readjust to the lack of nicotine. My goal is to be smoke free by January 30th. I will post everyday to help me keep track of everything. I'll track my moods, the number of cigarettes per day, how much more I'm eating, how busy I kept myself, and what triggered me to smoke at that time. If anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them. We have tried using the patches and the gum. Neither one worked for me. The patch made my heart race, shortness of breath, and I constantly felt like panicking. But they worked for Desi. He didn't have the cravings at all with the patch on. Well here's to nothing wish us luck.

New Years Eve 2008-2009

Happy new year everyone. I hope everyone has a safe and fun day. I know we are. It is our family tradition to stay home eat junk food, watch movies, and play games then watch the ball go down. We have been doing that for years. I want to keep doing it until the kids leave home. After that we may decide to go out.

Okay so today was a great day!! My brother-in-law and his wife moved out finally. Like I said yesterday I love them and we have fun together but he does tend to get on the nerves after awhile. I'm sure they were excited also. I know what it's like to be living with family until you can bet back on your feet. It takes a toll on you. You constantly feel like you are worthless because you can't provide for your family the way they deserve to be taken care of. You feel like the worst person. It makes you really depressed and stressed out. You feel like you are walking on egg shells around the family members all the time wondering what they are really thinking and feeling. That's why we always told them when something was bothering us that way there was no tension between any of us. And as long as he would keep his mouth shut on a daily basis everything would be fine. Just kidding it wasn't that bad. I was actually expecting it to be hell on earth while they were here. It's nice to be wrong about those things.